So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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