Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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