im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
