like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
