because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize