I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my being single is dangerous.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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