OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
