I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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