They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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