so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize