I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize