but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
