Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
