Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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