whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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