It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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