I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize