Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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