What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
