Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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