He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she looked like the before picture.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
