It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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