party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
