Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
