The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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