Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
