Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
