Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
