And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
