I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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