when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
