We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
