Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
