He asked to "fluff my boner.."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
