I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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