So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
