Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
