I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
