Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
