Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
