All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
