I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
