is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
