Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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