And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
