belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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