Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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