I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Church boner. Awkwardddd
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
