It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
