all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
