that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
