Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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