I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
