North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I party with great urgency now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
