People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
