all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it's like iHOP with fire
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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