you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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