We won't sleep together?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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