idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
