Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
