Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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