So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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