Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
