Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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