I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
