My first STD was from a foam party
Someone shit on the floor
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
