My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
