Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
